Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
