all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
