it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
