Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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