So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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