We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
