i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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