that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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