just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
