he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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