this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize