I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The feeling are messing with the penis
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
