Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
