there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The best revenge is premature balding
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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