he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
