I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All the doctor said was why
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
