i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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