weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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