she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my poor anus
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
