i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
do herpes really smell.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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