I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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