You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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