i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
