so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
