My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
