When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
