He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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