i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize