nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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