He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
