...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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