Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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