I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think i got beer on your cat.
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