He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
A+ Viking dick
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
