i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
