I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
