No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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