How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
