I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
