just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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