Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
