Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
