so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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