Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
