come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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