I murdered the dance floor call the cops
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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