Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
