that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
