So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i dont even know how to be here
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
