It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
