Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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