My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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