I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize