i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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