like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
