Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
