Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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