Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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