Moan for me like Helen Keller
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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