He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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