absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
