so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize