I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's always time for handjobs
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
