Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
